Used and Abused: When to Stop Helping an Addict

Alcohol and drug addiction affects more than 20 million U.S. adults — many of whom have loved ones who are forced to cope with their family member’s disease by default. When you have a close relationship with someone facing addiction, it can be difficult to tell whether you’re being helpful to that person or simply enabling their problem. Though you may want the best for your loved one — even if they suffer from addiction — you may not realize that this person may be using you, or abusing you in ways that are compromising your own health and livelihood. Enabling them doesn’t help anyone. It can actually encourage your loved one to continue using drugs and alcohol, and worsen their problem with addiction in the long term.

Are you enabling addiction in a loved one who is using, abusing, and taking advantage of you? Here are signs this might be the case, and information on how to help your loved one find treatment.

Are You Enabling an Addict?

Enabling means accommodating an addicted person so they can be protected from the full consequences of their drug and alcohol use. You may be an enabler if your words and behaviors are allowing and helping your loved one stay caught up in drug and alcohol addiction. Many enablers are unaware they’re practicing enabling behaviors and that their actions are contributing to their loved one’s addiction.

Help your loved one by finding them treatment today!

800-996-6135

Sponsored

Common signs you may be enabling an addict:

• You help your loved one purchase or obtain drugs and alcohol in some way. This could involve driving them to the liquor store or bar, or giving them money to buy drugs from a dealer.
• You make excuses to justify your loved one’s addiction, such as using drugs and alcohol to mask chronic pain because it’s cheaper than going to the doctor.
• You allow your loved one to continue abusing drugs and alcohol in your home without saying anything or acknowledging that it’s happening.
• You clean up the messes your loved one makes after using drugs and alcohol, such as mopping up vomit, emptying ashtrays, and storing away drug paraphernalia.
• You lie to other people to protect your loved one from facing negative consequences surrounding alcohol and drug use, such as telling your loved one’s boss that your loved one cannot come to work due to a death in the family, when your loved one is really hungover or recovering from drug use.
• You use alcohol and drugs with your loved one.
• You cope with and accept your loved one’s destructive or hurtful behavior induced by drug and alcohol use.
• You take over the responsibilities your loved one is neglecting so they can devote more time to their addiction.
• You make empty threats in an attempt to get them to stop using drugs and alcohol that you fail to follow through with, such as threatening to stop giving them money, but you continue giving them money anyway.

When to Stop Helping an Addict

If you’re enabling an addict, you are not helping them.

If your attempts to help an addicted loved one are causing more harm than good for both you and them, it’s likely your actions are more enabling than helpful. It’s time to reevaluate how your behaviors may be affecting your loved one in regards to their addiction.

Here’s how to tell it’s time to stop “helping” an addict.

You’re Stuck in the Cycle of Enabling Addiction

Some people feel as though they cannot stop enabling addiction, especially if they fear that quitting certain enabling behaviors will cause further problems for them or others in the household. For example, if your loved one is incapacitated after leaving messes of vomit throughout your home, you may be left with no other choice than to clean up the vomit. That’s because it’s considered a biohazard and can cause harm to you and other household members.

If you find yourself continuing to enable for reasons such as this, it’s time to stop “helping” your loved one and do what’s necessary to prevent yourself from being forced to practice enabling behaviors. You may need to take drastic measures if your loved one does not want to get help, such as ending the relationship or moving to a new home where they are not welcome.

Your Safety and Well-Being Are at Risk

Stop helping immediately if your loved one’s addiction is putting your own safety and well-being at great risk. Those who suffer from addiction usually have impaired judgment due to their drug use and will say or do anything to obtain and use drugs and alcohol, even if it means hurting those they love. Substances like alcohol and methamphetamine can even induce violent behavior. This can pose a direct threat to you, your children, and other household members.

If areas of your life are suffering greatly as a result of helping them, it’s time to stop. For example, if they wrecked their vehicle in a drunk-driving accident and need you to wake up extra early every day so you can drive them to work, it’s time to stop so you can benefit from a good night’s sleep and avoid sacrificing your own health to pay for their mistake. If you are facing financial hardship because your loved one keeps buying drugs and alcohol, it’s time to cut them off so you can retain your home, possessions, security, and overall well-being.

You’re Close to Relapsing

Environment and peer pressure are common triggers that can lead to relapse and drug abuse. If you’re in recovery from addiction yourself, being around a loved one who also struggles with addiction increases your risk for relapse by default, since drugs and alcohol are easily accessible and within reach. Sometimes, even the most confident of those who overcome addiction and have achieved sobriety face the risk of relapsing when spending time with others who are using.

If you find yourself close to relapsing or craving drugs and alcohol as a result of spending time with this person, it may be in your best interest to let go and separate yourself from them and the situation. Relapsing increases your risk for an overdose and death, and isn’t worth the risk of spending time with someone who doesn’t take your own recovery and well-being into consideration.

Finding Treatment for Yourself or a Loved One

Addiction treatment centers offer a range of therapies that can be customized to help those who are suffering from addiction, as well as those who may be enabling addiction. If you or your loved one needs help fighting addiction, a drug detox center can help both of you achieve sobriety. It can also repair any relationship problems that occurred between you and your loved one, as well as other family members.

Use our drug detox center directory to locate nearby treatment centers that offer detox services and family therapy. Family therapy is ideal for those with loved ones who continue using drugs despite requests from family to stop, and for family members who are suffering physical and psychological health problems on behalf of their loved one’s addiction.

Call our confidential helpline at 800-996-6135(Sponsored) to get the help you need today.